Yes, Lemons has yet to completely ruin sim racing for everyone. So we persist with a second, more ridiculous season of the Lemons iRacing League. The first season’s four-race schedule was but a warmup for this real show of iRacing insanity. That’s right, we’re cranking the stupidity to “11” and the competitiveness down to “NPR Tote Bag.” Winners? They’ll still get a roll of toilet paper and that’s about it. True innovators? They’re getting their own race.
Without further adieu, here are your Season 2 dates for the Lemons iRacing League (further explanation below).
THU, May 7: Gladiator Thursday @ Laguna Seca
SUN, May 10: NO RACES: Mother’s Day
TUE, May 12: Trash Racing Tuesdays @ TBD
THU, May 14: Charlotte Roval: Thursday Sprints
SUN, May 17: Endurance: 2 Hours of Road America (Paid Track)
THU, May 21: Road Atlanta: Thursday Sprints (Paid Track)
SUN, May 24: Endurance: 2 Hours of Barber (Paid Track)
TUE, May 26: Trash Racing Tuesdays @ TBD
THU, May 28: Laguna Seca: Thursday Sprints
SUN, May 31: Endurance: 2 Hours of New Hampshire (Paid Track)
THU, June 4: Barber Motorsports Park: Thursday Sprints (Paid Track)
SUN, June 7: Endurance: 2 Hours of TBD (Paid Track)
TUE, June 9: Trash Racing Tuesdays @ TBD
THU, June 11: OFF WEEK
SUN, June 14: Endurance: More-Than-2 Hours of TBD
THU, June 18: League Sprints: Road America (Paid)
SUN, June 21: OFF WEEK for Father’s Day
TUE, June 23: Trash Racing Tuesdays @ TBD
THU, June 25: League Sprints: NHMS (Paid Track)
SUN, June 28: Endurance: 2 Hours of Road Atlanta (Paid Track)
THU, July 2: Gladiator Thursday @ TBD
SUN, July 5: Endurance: Daytona/Florida Man Freedom Run (Length TBD)
Trash Racing Tuesdays (Every Second Tuesday): Some kind of anti-racing event designed to abuse iRacing’s intended purpose of simulating Real Racing™. What kinds of events? We ain’t tellin’ until the day of the event. Keep it exciting, y’know?
League Sprints (Thursdays): A continuation of Season 1 of Lemons iRacing. In other words, it vaguely resembles multiclass sprint racing.
Sunduros (Sunday Endurance Events): Multi-driver and multiclass team racing for races lasting 2 (or more) hours. You’ll have to find a friend or a co-driver, at least, to run these. For the races longer than 2 hours, expect a three-driver team, minimum.
Gladiator Thursday: Mad Max or Gladiator-style no-rules racing, followed by a No Pedal/No Wheel Invitational. Held “between seasons” for the League Sprints to help y’all remember not to take any of this too seriously.
The League Sprints and Enduros will operate as two parallel points seasons. We’d combine them, but that’s a lot of effort we have absolutely no willingness to implement. Also, the points standings in any kind of Lemons about 371st on our list of things we care about.
As for the paid tracks, we’ve set the schedule up to have two events at each of them so you can feel like you’re getting your money’s worth from them. They also more closely mirror what we’ve done in Meatspace Lemons™ and we feel like there’s some Saturday morning cartoons-level of educational programming there.
You may notice some blank spots in the schedule. We have plans for those but are holding off to figure out formats entirely before we announce them. Be sure to check out www.iSuckAtRacing.com for updates.
Here’s the deal for this Thursday. We are hosting two separate events for this in-between-seasons Thursday: (1) a No-Rules, Darwinian Survival Sprint and (2) a No Pedal/No Wheel Invitational. Is it dumb? Yes. Will it be fun? We have no idea. Will it happen anyway? That’s how Lemons has always operated, so yep. More on each formats below.
Format: Set up like Heat Races for the sake of getting everybody two 10-minute races. Why so short? Because the field will be torn up in 30 seconds. See schedule at bottom for breakout of the sessions. Please only sign up for one set of Practices and Heat races. Expect to be relentlessly mocked if you bogart spots in two or more heat sessions.
A note on the Heat Race format: You must join the session before the end of practice. You also will not be able to rejoin any sessions after you Withdraw (although if dropped from server, you should be able to get back in).
TL;DR – Show up on time, don’t ragequit.
Vehicles: Pro 2 Lite and Street Stock. Yes, two very robust vehicles that are in no way similar.
Black Flag/Incident Rules: NONE. Anything goes EXCEPT the stuff we can’t change about iRacing (No driving countercourse, cutting corners incurs a time penalty…but the Corkscrew probably will absolutely launch a Pro2 Lite, just sayin’).
Damage: Very much on, however you will be allowed three quick repairs. Will they make any difference? Probably not, but we want you to at least get to Turn 2 a couple times before you get punted into low-earth orbit.
What’s gonna happen? Hell if we know, but it’ll be stupid and fun.
This Thursday’s races (May 7) will include Lemons’ first-ever invitational race for those using iRacing controls that ARE NOT a purpose-built set of pedals and a steering wheel. No, we aren’t gonna define that in detail. It’s like the Supreme Court opinion on obscenity: “We know it when we see it.”
Enter the Silly Hats Only No Pedal/No Wheel Lemons Iracing League Invitational (SHONPNWLILI) by describing in an email (Photos and Video go a long way) how you’ll use your keyboard, TurboGrafx-16 controller, discount-parts-store drill, 220-volt marital aid, or whatever else you’ve rigged to control an iRacing vehicle. Send that to VirtuallySlow@24hoursoflemons.com. We’ll let you know if you’re in and then we’ll send you the session listing and the password for that session.
Simple enough? Good, this is gonna be spectacular and will close out the night.
If you’re in the Lemons iRacing League, here are the session start times for Thursday, May 7.
9:00 pm ET: Survival Sprints 1 – Practice (40 min.), Race 1 (10 min.), Practice (20 min.), Race 2 (10 min.)
9:30 pm ET: Survival Sprints 2 – Practice (40 min.), Race 1 (10 min.), Practice (20 min.), Race 2 (10 min.)
10:00 pm ET: Survival Sprints 3 – Practice (40 min.), Race 1 (10 min.), Practice (20 min.), Race 2 (10 min.)
11:00 pm ET: No Pedal/No Wheel Invitation – Practice (40 min.), Race (20 min.)