

SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA to SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA
HELL ON WHEELS CALIFORNIA
August 4-7, 2022
(Entry Deadline: July 29)

BOSTON, MA to BOSTON, MA
FALL FAIL-IAGE RALLY
September 30 – October 2, 2022
(Entry Deadline: September 23)

NEW ORLEANS, LA to ST. PAUL, MN
GREAT RIVER ROAD LEMONS RALLY
November 8-12, 2022
(Entry Deadline: November 1)
Long-Distance
Zero Shrimp
Rallies
The Deets

Vehicle
Anything street-legal, insured and offensive to Gullwing guys.

Entry Fee
$425/car. Get your own room, buy your own food, wipe your own nose.
Rally Rules
It’s mostly just “don’t be a tool,” but see them all here.
A TASTE OF THE SCORING
Performance
+10-150 Optional checkpoints and challenges en route
+0-150 Creative roadside repairs
+/- 0-150 Tickets and arrests (how good’s your story?)
Who made your hooptie
-50 For Japanese
-20 For German, but…
+50 For pre-’90s German diesel
+100 For Italian
+125 For French
+150 For English
+250 For Warsaw Pact
When did they make it
+75 For 1980s
+100 For 1970s
+170 For 1960s
+200 For 1950s
+250 For pre-1950
HOW BUTT-TURRIBLE IS IT?
+10-150 Optional checkpoints and challenges en route
+0-150 Creative roadside repairs
+/- 0-150 Tickets and arrests (how good’s your story?)
DEDUCTION & ADDITIONS
-2500 For showing up in a press loaner
-250 For wearing Pilotis
+300 For bringing a Beetle-pan kit car
+50 For Designer Edition (Bill Blass, Givenchy, Levi’s, etc)
-300 For using phrase “double apex”
+70 For best YouTube post of the day
-0-900 For being a general douchenozzle
+0-900 For junkyard parts gained en route
+0-900 For ridiculous themes &/or outfits
Price
Entry: $425 per entered vehicle, regardless of number of team members. Stuff as many people as you can legally fit in your ride. The entry fee includes the Route Book (“Weird-Ass Guided Tour To Nowhere”), scoring along the way, commemorative crap, and anything else we come up with by then.
Late Fees and Onsite Registration: A $75 fee will be assessed if you don’t pay prior to the end of online registration five days before the event start. Late entrants may pay the $500 total onsite WITH CASH ONLY.