Hella Sweet Lemons Car of the Week: Turtle Eclipse of the Heart

The Turtle Eclipse of the Heart Mitsubishi Eclipse that showed up to race at 24 Hours of LeMons’ Summit Point Raceway race in 2013 was really a trifecta of goodness: a first-rate team name, a man dressed up as a woman to make a forgettable pop-culture reference, and a truly, truly terrible racecar. And sometimes a good team name is all you need to be a Hella Sweet Lemons Car of the Week.

The Eclipse and its Chrysler cousins (Eagle Talon and Plymouth Laser) have historically unreliable in a way that only other Chrysler products—like K-Cars—can claim. This particular Eclipse’s 17th-place finish represents a rare solid outing wherein they were defeated in their class by an Oldsmobile Delta 88, a Pontiac Fiero, and a Ford Escort (all finely honed road-racing instruments).

We didn’t see the Turtle Eclipse for a couple years, but it returned in 2017 to the Real Hoopties of New Jersey, where it finished an impressive 12th place and third in Class B (behind an AMC Hornet). Maybe a sopping-wet New Jersey Motorsports Park was all they need to (almost) dominate.

Well, at least the name was great.