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Lemons Online Racing

Extend your Lemons (in)ability to the internet!

SCHEDULE & WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT (AS BEST WE CAN TELL)

LEMONS IRACING LEAGUE, 2022

Want to watch this madness? (Of course you do!) It will stream on Twitch here, on YouTube here, and on Facebook here. Thanks again to our partners at Nemesis Lab and Bearded Sim Racer Productions!

All streams will start around 8:30 pm ET unless otherwise noted. See League Details in iRacing for session start times. You must have requested entrance to the league 24 hours in advance (see below).

September 27 (Tues.)
Formula 8 Trash Racing & Endurance at Circuit of the Americas

October 22 (Sat.)
M.I.A.T.A Muddin’ & Endurance at NHMS

**November 19 (Sat.)
TBD & Endurance at Road Atlanta

December 18 (Sun.)
TBD & Key Party Team Endurance @ Sebring

See notes on formats below. Join the Discord server and/or the iRacing League for more info on those things.

It’s 2021 and we may still be stuck inside or we may just want a place to hang out with other Lemons idiots between races in Meatspace. This is somewhere that can happen in Virtual Space with iRacing. Expect low pressure, low expectations, lots of fun, and some veterans who can probably help you out. That last part is critical, because you’re going to be bad at this for a while. Possibly forever.

WAIT, YOU IDIOTS DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SIM RACING.

This is absolutely correct, but we’ve gotten lots of help from TARP Racing, Priority Fail Racing, and Bearded Sim Racer Productions in assembling this. Now you know who (else) to thank/blame.

DOES THE $500 CAR THING STILL APPLY?

In short: No. Since iRacing didn’t have Lemons in mind when they built it, we can’t really have a Borgward or a Lloyd Alexander on track. We try to keep our events novice-friendly.

HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?

Lemons charges nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

However, you will need an iRacing membership, which costs money. Some memberships may require in-game purchases to run some tracks and/or cars. We try to minimize additional purchases and make the most of paid content.

ARE THERE ANY RULES?

Yes, here are the important ones:

1. Don’t be a douche. Seriously.

2. All normal iRacing rules and online racing/gaming etiquette are applicable here. The iRacing FIRST rulebook (PDF here) is much bigger than Lemons’ rulebook, but we trust you can read through it.

3. Whiner Eligibility: Like Meatspace Lemons™, whiners are still not eligible for Virtual Lemons. If you believe that you might be a whiner, please check with a domestic partner, guardian, roommate, or healthcare professional before getting booted from Virtual Lemons for-frickin’-ever.

4. Make your Lemons iRacing car look entertaining. Plain or template paint jobs might get a slapdash repaint on the broadcast. Consider that fair warning. Don’t know how to do this? Ask us or find an experienced Lemons iRacer who knows.

There are some more technical iRacing things, but we don’t want to bog this page down with details. Read the Lemons iRacing League Rules Addendum here.

WHAT DO I NEED TO JOIN?

You will need (1) an iRacing account, (2) a computer that can run iRacing, and (3) a means of controlling a car in iRacing. You can find information on system requirements and test out your machine here.

Bring a sense of humor and some humility, too. If you’re totally new to iRacing, you’re gonna suck at it. Badly. Be patient and after a couple weeks, you’ll be racing just as poorly as you do in Meatspace Lemons™.

DO I NEED A LICENSE IN IRACING?

Nope. We want Lemons idiots to be able to jump in and make fools of themselves as quickly as they can. And we know that’s quick.

HOW DO I ENTER LEMONS IRACING?

Want in? Send an email with the subject “Lemons iRacing” to VirtuallySlow@24hoursoflemons.com. Copy and paste the following information (filled out with the relevant details) and one of the league administrators will get back to you and add you as we can.

Your Real Name:
Your Real Lemons Team Name (optional):
Your Real Lemons Car (optional):
Your Name in iRacing:
Your iRacing ID (a six-digit number):
Your Discord handle (optional):

WHERE CAN I GET ANSWERS AND HELP?

If you run into some roadblocks signing up for Lemons iRacing, send an email to VirtuallySlow@24hoursoflemons.com and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

WHAT WILL THE RACE FORMAT BE?

See the corresponding schedule above for which formats are run which calendar days.

Trash Racing: Some kind of anti-racing event designed to abuse iRacing’s intended purpose of simulating Real Racing™. What kinds of events? It’s a mixed bag of (1) inappropriate car/course mashup, (2) stupid car combinations, and (3) anything else that meets our whimsy.

Endurance Events: Multi-driver and multi-class team racing with races lasting a couple hours. You can share the car with a friend or a co-driver. We also have events where we assign team pairs (Key Party!) or allow single drivers to run an entire long-distance event.

No Pedal/No Wheel Invitational: Event by invitation only to those running without a traditional wheel-and-pedal sim racing setup. Email to us with a description of your sim setup to get in.

Inappropriate RallyCross: Exactly what it says. A rallycross event that usually entails vehicles with no purpose rallycrossing.

Gladiator: Mad Max-style no-rules racing. Good luck.

Roller Derby: Two-car teams with a faster blocking car, a “points-scoring” car, and damage/flagging off.

See the iRacing League details for start/entrance times for the sessions.

HUH. WHAT’S THAT EVEN LOOK LIKE?

Give it a watch on our YouTube Channel! It’ll make either more or less sense after that.

CAN I JUST COME AND WATCH?

Actually, yes. Thanks to our broadcaster Bearded Sim Racer Productions, we have a livestreamed version of this with commentary. You can watch the livestream and comment on the hapless and hopeless Virtual Lemons failures. We stream on Twitch, YouTube, and Facebook.

WHAT AM I GETTING MYSELF INTO?

You have no idea. Neither do we. Let’s have an adventure!

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