Season Champions: Your Lemons Winners for 2022
Santa Cruz CA–Seventeen years in, the 24 Hours of Lemons continues giving out national championships for racking up pointless points. The crop of 2022 champions brought some truly remarkable stuff and at least as much remarkably bad stuff. Read on to find out the national and regional champions for teams and drivers, plus our constructors(ish) titles.
Drivers’ Championships
At least half of the world’s success arises from showing up, so it’s no surprise that Lemons’ perfect attendance—for the first time ever—factors heavily into the 2022 Drivers’ Championships. Drivers score three points per entry, plus up to 10 points for finishing in the Top 10. Without further ado, here are your 2022 24 Hours of Lemons Drivers’ Champions.
National Drivers’ Champion: Neal Losey
Neal Losey became the first driver in Lemons’ 17-year history to race in every single one of Lemons’ 21 races for the season. No one has ever done that to this point and he did it with panache by driving everything from a Pontiac Tojan to a Volvo PV544. His 182 points to win put him a more than 100 points ahead of anyone else. Nicely done and he earned his Lemons-approved straitjacket, presented to him at Road Atlanta. For good measure, Neal also won the West, Midwest, and South region Drivers’ Championships.
National Drivers’ Championship Standings
Neal Losey – 182 points
Guy Argo – 68 points
Darrin Hermeling – 59 points
Amanda Tully – 53 points
Allan Miller – 52 points
Coppa di Bondo: Escape Velocity Racing
Lemons introduced the eBay Motors Halloween Meets Gasoline Trophy in 2022 for the team with the best theme. Escape Velocity Racing swept the Gulf Region’s eBay Halloween Meets Gasoline Trophies in 2022 for reasons that exist beyond their awesome, decade-veteran Dodge Dart Lemons car.
In March, Escape Velocity Racing hosted a wedding at NOLA Motorsports Park for their awesome members Rob and Jen Simpson. With Escape Velocity’s Bob Griffin officiating a lovely and Lemony ceremony on the track itself at dusk. The team followed that up in November with a deep-pull Demolition Man theme at MSR Houston.
As such, they win the (dis)honor of the Coppa di Bondo for best Lemons team of 2022.
South Driver’s Championship Standings
Neal Losey – 42 points
Allan Miller – 30 points
Gregory Knapp – 30 points
Dave Knapp – 30 points
West Drivers’ Championship Standings
Neal Losey – 50 points
Bryan Salvador – 36 points
Malcolm Clay – 35 points
Gulf Drivers’ Championship Standings
Trey Cook – 26 points
Jason Wells – 26 points
Scott Moody – 26 points
James McLean – 21 points
Pieter Waters – 21 points
East Drivers’ Championship Standings
Amanda Tully – 53 points
Paul Wooding – 48 points
James Mansour – 37 points
Midwest Driver’s Championship Standings
Neal Losey – 42 points
Friso Schlottau – 23 points
Tracey Barber – 23 points
Teams’ Championships
The teams’ titles for 2022 didn’t feature quite the perfect attendance, but a late-season surge brought a new national champion who also snagged a regional championship by a single point. This season found a couple of repeat winners and several new champs, which we’re always excited about. Teams earn 3 points per entry, 2 points per rookie drivers, and up to 10 more points for Top 10 finishes overall. Here are your 2022 24 Hours of Lemons Drivers’ Champions.
National Teams’ Champions: Braking Bad Racing
From a single tired-looking Ford Festiva a half-decade ago, Braking Bad has grown their team to an incredible fleet of NINE Lemons cars, all entered at MSR Houston in November. When we say “incredible,” we don’t mean any of them are exactly high performance. However, the Festiva still kicks around with a Toyota Tercel, plus a collected flotsam of Ford Mustangs, Mazda Miatas, and BMWs. They’re dedicated to fun and eating well, maybe driving on the track even from time to time. It’s a great collection of mostly Texas Lemoneers and we’re excited to see what they bring with them in 2023. Braking Bad also eeked out the Gulf Region championship by a single point, which was hella sweet.
For the second year in a row, we also managed to have five different regional winners. Here are your final standings for the Teams’ Championships:
National Teams’ Championship Standings
Braking Bad Racing – 84 points
Zoom Zoom Kaboom 2.0 – 69 points
3 Pedal Mafia – 67 points
Battle Scarred Motorsports – 59 points
ONSET/Tetanus Racing – 57 points
South Teams’ Championship Standings
The Corona’s – 38 points
Otown Racing – 36 points
Team Non Sequitur – 30 points
West Teams’ Championship Standings
Zoom Zoom Kaboom 2.0 – 69 points
Flying Scotsman – 42 points
M45 Racing – 34 points
Gulf Teams’ Championship Standings
Braking Bad Racing – 48 points
Ginger Race Team – 47 points
Battle Scarred Motorsports – 38 points
East Teams’ Championship Standings
3 Pedal Mafia – 64 points
Bostonwhiners – 52 points
Mome Rath Racing – 44 points
Midwest Teams’ Championship Standings
Sew So Fast – 25 points
BadgerRacingInc. – 22 points
Bad Decisions Racing – 21 points
ColeFab/27Club/TheBird – 21 points
Rock Tech Racing – 21 points
Manufacturers’ Championships
Perhaps it’s not so well known that the 24 Hours of Lemons holds manufacturers’ championships. Again, we aren’t really sure why; it’s not like BMW is ever using “14-time Lemons Constructors’ Champions” as marketing material. In reality, the various car brands rate from “atrocious” to “almost alright” in Lemons, so temper your expectations. The constructors points are determined solely by Top 10 finishes. Brace yourself for Lemons Champions Über Alles!
Constructors Champions: BMW
We already said it. Not shown in points standings: shredded guibos, seemingly sentient ECUs, and crumbled subframe mounts.
Constructors Championship Points
BMW – 389 points
Mazda – 177 points
Ford – 90 points
Toyota – 90 points
GM – 82 points
Honda – 77 points
Mercedes-Benz – 53 points
Volkswagen – 36 points
Audi – 31 points
Subaru – 30 points
Nissan – 30 points
Porsche – 22 points
Volvo – 22 points
Mitsubishi – 12 points
AMC – 10 points
Chrysler – 7 points
Real Constructors’ Champions: Mercedes-Benz
Two different Mercedes put together four overall wins in 2022, which is notable for the fact that there had been only one Mercedes win since 2015 and that was more than five years ago. To add to that, the Benz managed to avoid Dead Effing Last and more entries finished in the top half of the field than didn’t. Not bad for overly complicated, highly depreciated machines. Still, our favorite two Mercedes-Benz—the Cleverly Hillbillies’ extremely depreciated V12 S600 and their spin-off team Men-On-Pause Racing’s R107—captured our hearts if not an abundance of points.
Deconstructors Champions: Volkswagen Auto Group
Well, if BMW scored the most points and Mercedes scored the most wins per entry…how about Volkswagen with its associated Porsche and Audi brands? Surely, they carried off batches of Top 10 finishes and overall wins for a clean German sweep, right? About that…Volkswagen Auto Group entries racked up three I Got Screwed trophies and three Dead Effing Last finishes. Sure, the Porsche 996 with an air-cooled Volkswagen engine was the Excellence we expected, but the rest? They left behind a substantial trail of busted Volkswagen turbos, cooked Audi computers, and Porsche…everything. Better luck next year!
See if you and your team made the full Drivers’ and Teams’ Championship standings right here. Don’t forget to get a head start on your 2023 season points by signing up for your next race(s) here.
