Lemons Champions: Your Season Winners for 2023!
Santa Cruz CA–In spite of nearly two decades of pointlessness, the 24 Hours Lemons has concluded another season full of more winners than losers (if you count every lap as a victory). Lemons has now completed 18 seasons of endurance racing and concluded 15 of those with season-long championships. Yes, Lemons awards points for showing up and points for finishing in the Top 10. Check out the national and regiona Lemons champions below.
DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIPS
It pays (in championships) to show up, so it’s no surprise that good attendance within a region and nationally count heavily toward our champs. Drivers score three points for showing up to a race and can add up to 10 points for finishing in the Top 10. Here are the 2023 Drivers Lemons Champions!
National Drivers’ Champion: Neal Losey
After running ALL of the races in 2022 and winning the driver’s championship, Neal Losey ran 13 more races and 14 new Lemons cars in 2023. If you’re keeping score at home, Neal has now run 94 Lemons races all time in 104 different Lemons cars. He’s also won 22 Indexes of Effluency. We’re reasonably sure that’s the most of anyone. What can we say? Neal has impeccable taste.
National Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)
Neal Losey (74)
Anton Lovett (66)
Will Sikes, Duane Spurling (49)
Steve Jardine (48)
Troy Hogan (44)
Lee Tuck (42)
Brett Sellers, Jay St. Claire (41)
Allan Miller, Dave Knapp, Gregory Knapp, Ed Knapp (40)
Coppa di Bondo: Vannonball 2023
The subjective Coppa di Bondo carries the honor of the most Lemons-grade performance of the year. While we saw some spectacular stuff this year, nothing quite tops Zac Caldwell’s absolutely mind-bending dedication to Lemons with this four-race “Vannonball” trip. In mid-May, Zac left his home in Kentucky for an epic, street-driving trip in his plated-and-registered Dodge Grand Caravan (which his family has owned since new). He drove thousands of miles on the road to hit four consecutive race weekends all over the country: Thunderhill Raceway Park (Northern California) to High Plains Raceway (Colorado) to New Jersey Motorsports Park (New Jersey, duh) to GingerMan Raceway (Michigan).
Along the way, he broke countless parts, burned through several parts stores’ supplies of brake pads, gave lots of rookies their first taste of Lemons, got help from dozens of new Lemons friends, and somehow made it home in one piece. Then he ran two more races in the second half of the year.
That’s pretty excellent on its own, but Zac’s 2023 was just a warmup. In 2024, he intends to take the Grand Caravan to every single race on the calendar. Lunacy? That’ll get you the Coppa di Bondo.
East Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)
Steve Jardine (48)
Peter Sheedy, Mark Gaydos, John Gaydos, Alex Knight (39)
Jamie Rodriquenz, Greg Smith (29)
Chris Falleta (28)
Bill Lills Jr., Alan Vandeweghe, Cory Vandeweghe, Darrin Schlegel (23)
Gulf Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)
Troy Hogan, Brett Sellers (35)
Chris Joffrion, Trey Cook, Scott Moody (28)
Steve Erskine (26)
Anton Lovett, Maury Sanchez, Frank Herron (22)
Midwest Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)
Jerry Veen, Michiel Van de Ven (29)
Cooper Lacy, Alex Yovanovich (28)
Jeff Keacher, Sean Beever, Will McDonald, Tyler Hicks-Wright (27)
South Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)
Steve Remchak, Larry Hamaker (31)
Jeffrey McNally (27)
Vincent Keene (26)
Robert Brougham, Chris Williams, Robert Vincent, William Bailey, Randy Feyeraben, Justin Lachausse, Jon Pokorny (25)
West Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)
Neal Losey (44)
Jay St. Claire (41)
Sean Kenmore, Shawn Westerhoff, Jay Marshall (33)
John Panisko, Pete Bristow, Scott Williams (32)
Paul Normington (26)
TEAMS’ CHAMPIONSHIPS
While the national teams’ season champions were right back with a strong 2023 season, the season featured four new regional champs. We’re always excited for that. Teams score three points per entry, plus up to 10 points for Top 10 finishes and two points per rookie driver registered.
National Teams’ Champions: Braking Bad Racing
Indeed, both the 2022 drivers’ and teams’ national champions repeated the feat in 2023. Braking Bad took a steady stream of entries all year and capped with eight cars entered for their 10th anniversary race at MSR Houston in November. They’re fleet of hoopties that includes a Toyota Tercel, Ford Festiva, Mazda MX-3, Honda Accord, and a host of other boring stuff like Mustangs, Miatas, and BMWs. By our fuzzy math, they own somewhere between 10 and 15 cars. Add to that a steady stream of rookie drivers and you’ve got the makings of a Lemons dynasty.
National Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)
Braking Bad Racing (109)
ONSET/Tetanus Racing (72)
Bostonwhiners (65)
Ginger Race Team (58)
3 Pedal Mafia (49)
Argonauts Awful Space (48)
In Lieu of Therapy (43)
Team Non Sequitur (40)
Half-Fast Racing, The Knighted Angels, Low Speed High Drag, Turbo-Encabulators, Vannonball 2023 (39)
East Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)
Bostonwhiners (65)
3 Pedal Mafia (51)
The Knighted Angels (39)
Sesame Street Outlaws (37)
Scope Creep Racing (30)
Gulf Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)
Braking Bad Racing (64)
Ginger Race Team (44)
ONSET/Tetanus Racing (38)
Party Girl (28)
Low Speed High Drag (24)
Midwest Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)
Rod Throwin’ Fools (28)
Polka Kings, Turbo-Encabulators (27)
Focus Club, Vannonball 2023 (25)
Flying Pigs Racing, Whiskey + Doughnuts (24)
South Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)
Lee Ho Fook’s Racing, Burp Racing (31)
Braking Bad Racing (30)
Toyota PE Motorsports (29)
SJ&L Racing (27)
Half-Fast Racing, I Schitt U Knot, Buzzed Viking Brewing (25)
West Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)
Argonauts Awful Space (48)
In Lieu of Therapy (43)
Otaku Racing (38)
IWGF Racing (34)
Point Break It (33)
CONSTRUCTORS’ CHAMPIONSHIPS
Call it a Manufacturers’ Championship or a Constructors’ Championship…the phrasing hardly matters. As we pointed out last year, BMW hardly waits breathlessly to brag about another year of being undefeated. A few years ago, Lemons added a “Real Constructors’ Champion” to the portfolio with Deconstructors champion.
Constructors’ Champions: BMW
15-times undefeated en masse, so very many times defeating individual teams. It’s worth pointing out that the 2nd through 5th place constructors all scored all-time highs. Maybe the word is getting out that BMW is only the easy button after they beat you up in the paddock for a year or seven.
Constructors Championship Standings (Points)
BMW/MINI (295)
Mazda (217)
Toyota (123)
Ford (116)
Honda/Acura (101)
Volkswagen (71)
Nissan/Datsun (57)
General Motors (48)
Mercedes-Benz (29)
Chrysler (27)
Audi (21)
Subaru (20)
AMC/Jeep (19)
Porsche (18)
Volvo (17)
Saab (16)
Lotus (9)
Mitsubishi (0)
Real Constructors’ Champions: Mitsuoka
We saw strong showings from General Motors (7 Index of Effluency and 5 Class C wins) and Ford (6 Index of Effluency and 5 Class C wins), but really, nothing could possibly be more spectacular than the awkward, slow, and magnificent performances of Mitsuoka in 2023. Sure, there is (and only ever has been) one Mitsuoka in Lemons, but…c’mon…Is the Lost in Translation Mitsuoka Viewt not the very pinnacle of Lemons achievement? With a 100 percent Index of Effluency rate all-time in Lemons, we don’t see any reason everyone isn’t rushing to find a crapped-out Mitsuoka to import.
Honorable mentions to Suzuki (Kizashi @ Gingerman), Nash (Metropolitan @ Buttonwillow), and Sunbeam (Alpine @ NJMP) for also scoring a 100 percent IOEs for their entries this year.
Deconstructors’ Champions: Subaru
We saw numerous stinky performances from all kinds of brands–heavy emphasis on the Volkswagen Auto Group’s annual break-itude–but the consistently blase performances by Subaru really are long overdue for recognition. While the Swampfoot Impreza eeked out a Class B win, there wasn’t much else going for the Pleiades badge.
Really, the heart of this is something Lemons’ regulars have mostly figured out 10-15 years ago: A car’s reputation as daily driver transportation carries little to no resemblance to its reliability in endurance racing. Subaru fans might take some solace in outscoring AMC products with Top 10 points by a single point…except there were three times as many Subaru entries.
Even more embarrassing: They came out one point behind the other Pray-For-Rain brand, Audi. That one’s gotta sting.
Look over the full standings for 2023 right here to plan your season champions’ run in 2024. Be sure to check the 2024 schedule and sign up for domination here.
