Sebring Lemons: 7 Memorable Heaps From Our 2014 Race in Florida

In less than two months, Lemons will run its first Florida race in seven years at Sebring International Raceway. Unlike that first 2014 foray to Sebring, we’ve learned our lessons and booked a the Yokohama Southern Discomfort race so it’s not in the middle of summer. This date falls on Mother’s Day weekend, however, which means that not only are we giving free team entries to Chrysler Sebrings, we’re also giving free driver entries to any mothers who are racing.

For now, let’s look back at some memorable machines from the 2014 Humidi TT at Sebring. Let it serve as inspiration for you to sign up and show us you can do it better/worse.

NSF Racing vs. Speedycop & the Gang of Outlaws: Chrysler Sebrings (Duh)

Yes, our initial trek to Sebring International Raceway included free entry for anyone brave enough to run a Chrysler Sebring. We could expound on the absurdity of naming the World’s Least-Sporty Convertible after the famed racetrack, but if you’re reading this, you already understand irony. Anyway, we got two takers, both long-running Lemons legends: Speedycop brought a red Sebring while NSF Racing brought a silver Sebring. While they didn’t win outright, both Sebrings beat several other teams. Does that mean you should bring a Sebring in May? Yes. Yes, it does.

Class of ‘64: Escape Velocity Racing Dodge Dart vs. Team Fairlylame Ford Fairlane

Bizarrely, both of these 1964 cars debuted at the same race in April 2013. The two have intersected several times over the last eight seasons, including at Sebring in 2014. While the Slant Six-powered Dart finished higher (though not well) in that first ‘13 race, the Fairlane and its extraordinarily tired Ford 289 finished a few laps ahead at Sebring despite nearly rolling onto its lid. Both cars clocked laps slower than Speedycop’s Chrysler Sebring. Hey, maybe a Sebring isn’t so bad.

Idle Clatter – Mercedes 300SD

Speaking of slow cars, Idle Clatter’s Planet Express-themed, diesel-powered Mercedes W116 was the race’s absolute slowest car. Nevertheless, they walloped Class C by 14 laps (almost a full hour at their pace) and finished 11th overall.

Wetland American Racing – Lincoln Versailles

Forget that this car finished absolutely last in the race. That is totally inconsequential because racing a Lincoln Versailles is its own kind of reward. Comfort and style represent the ethos of the Malaise Era, largely because performance was unattainable. Nevertheless, the Ford Granada-based Lincoln (and its Mercury cousins) are absolutely perfect for Lemons. Was it just a Granada with Lincoln badges? Maybe. Does that make any less of a Lincoln in the grand era of badge engineering? Nah.

Team Sputnik – Plymouth Fury

On the subject of American panache, Team Sputnik ran NSF Racing’s old ‘71 Plymouth Fury at this race. And when we say “ran,” we mean “trundled around for a minute until it got banned for being too hooptie.” Yes, Lemons actually banned a car for excessive jankiness. Yes, that means it was utterly as bad as you would imagine it to be. Yes, we are writing this entire post like we’re answering questions you definitely aren’t asking. Undeterred, Team Sputnik’s intrepid team captain drove it around Maryland after its Lemons racing retirement.

TARP Racing – Simca 1000 GLS

We’ve had two Simcas in Lemons, a 1204 and this pseudo-Simca 1000. We’re assured of the 1204’s return sometime in 2021, however we know the team had the Gall to give this “French” car the Crusher treatment. As you may notice, it’s only a Simca in appearance. When early Lemons adopters TARP Racing picked up the Simca, it essentially fell apart from rust. Instead of trying to reinforce non-existent metal, the team simply bolted the sheetmetal onto a Toyota MR2. This was in no way less hooptie than when Simca assembled it to begin with.

Thrift Shop Racing – Mazda Protege

Where’s Waldo? After a brief foray in Lemons, we think he’s probably trying to recover what little dignity he retains.

Watch our recent #LemonsWorld episode on the 2014 Sebring race right here:

Sebring Sign-Ups Are Now!

Get your entries in for the 24 Hours of Lemons’ (maybe) triumphant return to Sebring International Raceway. You can sign up for Southern Discomfort 2021 right here.

• If you are bringing a Sebring, make sure you register that as your car. We’ll reach out to you before the payment deadline to make sure you’re bringing a Sebring (or a Chrysler 200 or a Lancia Flavia II) We’ll be ready to charge your butt onsite if you bring something else.
• If you have a mother on your team who is driving, shoot us an email (Eric@24hoursoflemons.com or Nick@24hoursoflemons.com) a month ahead of the race and we will get you squared away on the price breaks for that.

In the meantime, watch our dumb videos on YouTube here and follow us on Instagram or on Facebook.